|The president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan, at the Nuclear Security Summit, in 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
Warmest Holiday Greetings on this Blessed Independence Day,
Election season is upon us. I ask for your vote in re-electing me as your President of Nigeria. I am proud of the accomplishments that I have made in my time in office. Below is a small list of the many, many things that I alone have done to progress forward.
11. Over 200 girls were kidnapped in the spring of 2014. Over 169 days later I am happy to report that I have done nothing to ensure the release of these girls; they are still being held in captivity. While I have yet to make an appearance onsite regarding this national tragedy, please note that just last two weeks, I did make a visit to Pastor T.B Joshua owner of the Synagogue Church of All Nations about the collapsed church building to offer my support to the pastor who is a dear friend.
22. The level of corruption that exists in Nigeria has exponentially increased during my tenure. I am very proud to report that I myself am a catalyst of this corruption and personally model this behavior.
33. I am proud of my lack of proper prioritization regarding issues. I continue to misuse my status to ensure personal growth and profit. I am proud to say that I always put myself first.
I know that you will agree with me when I say that I truly believe that I am the best leader for Nigeria. I engage in corruption, put myself first always, and refuse to deal with critical matters. I look forward to continuing to serve you and look forward to your vote.
Sincerely your proud leader,