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| The president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan, at the Nuclear Security Summit, in 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
Warmest Holiday Greetings on this Blessed
Independence Day,
Election season is upon us. I ask for your vote in
re-electing me as your President of Nigeria. I am proud of the accomplishments
that I have made in my time in office. Below is a small list of the many, many
things that I alone have done to progress forward.
11. Over 200 girls were kidnapped in the spring of
2014. Over 169 days later I am happy to report that I have done nothing to
ensure the release of these girls; they are still being held in captivity.
While I have yet to make an appearance onsite regarding this national tragedy,
please note that just last two weeks, I did make a visit to Pastor T.B
Joshua owner of the Synagogue Church of
All Nations about the collapsed church building to offer my support to the
pastor who is a dear friend.
22. The
level of corruption that exists in Nigeria has exponentially increased during
my tenure. I am very proud to report that I myself am a catalyst of this
corruption and personally model this behavior.
33. I
am proud of my lack of proper prioritization regarding issues. I continue to
misuse my status to ensure personal growth and profit. I am proud to say that I
always put myself first.
I know that you will
agree with me when I say that I truly believe that I am the best leader for
Nigeria. I engage in corruption, put myself first always, and refuse to deal
with critical matters. I look forward to continuing to serve you and look
forward to your vote.
Sincerely your proud
leader,
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